There are many reasons why people have problems with other people. But no matter what that reason is, only one thing is for sure. Proper communication could have ended all those conflicts. It may be a major one like emotional distress caused by physical abuse or something as simple as neglect for what we think is important.
It’s normal for people to always be in a reactive mode. When someone does something to you, you react. That’s what psychologists call the flight, fight, or freeze reaction. The brain directs us which of these options is the best course of action we follow it.
But then, there’s another side to all of these, instead of reactive, we can be responding. Responding is the positive counterpart of reacting, which means it puts ourselves in a much better place. Simply put, being responsive is way better than being reactive.
How to Be More Responsive
To be more responsive, you have to adjust the way you communicate with others. It suggests that you have to be very mindful of the things that you say, do, and think. It’s not just with the way you speak, but also with the way you talk in emails and over the phone. To be more responsive instead of reactive, here are some tips that can help you:
Pausing is a very powerful way to stop yourself from retaliating when something struck you. Pausing is as simple as taking a deep breath and clearing your mind before blurting out words that may not come out right. You don’t have to respond immediately to any given situation. Give your time to think and collect yourself. This will take a lot of practice but it’s also the true mark of maturity.
- Address your emotions.
You are entitled to your views and opinions. Being responsive doesn’t mean you’re masking what you feel or think just so you’ll look or sound good. It’s okay to say that you felt bad, for as long as you’re owning up to your actions and emotions. Blaming other people and sour graping is not being responsive or responsible for that matter.
- Get past the anger.
To get a better view of things, it is best that you go past that anger. Treat anger as a secondary emotion. Don’t be influenced by anger. If you do, you’ll blow up and be reactive and not responsive. Once you look under your anger, you’ll feel the true emotion that’s prevailing in that given situation. It may be resentment, fear, loneliness, rejection, or sadness. These emotions are more valid than anger and they can easily be addressed as well.
Communicating your emotions through the right words and actions is something that every person should master. It’s a skill that could bring out the good in every person and make each other understand other people more. If proper communication and responsiveness are practiced by everyone, then this world is going to be a much better place to be. If you want to know more about how to be more responsive and improve your communication skills, it is strongly suggested that you attend a related Counselors round rock session to help you out with it.